Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Pregnancy Journal

By Kelly

Women, as a collective, share many things. Stories about buying our first bra, getting our first period and waiting for that high-school crush to call can unite a disparate group and cause instant camaraderie to well up.

But nothing really touches the symbiotic topics of pregnancy and childbirth. It can ignite a firestorm of conversation. "How long did you throw up? Yeah, me too." "And that heartburn! Didn't you want to call a firefighter some nights and say, 'Help me out here!'" "And then I started pushing, and I thought I was going to die from the pain."

I love that. I love that moms, no matter their ages or backgrounds, share this common theme in the story. No one understands it like us. No one has lived it like us. And while each of our chapters in the story is unique, we all share an understanding of this unique calling of motherhood.

Certainly, I am just one voice among many. But because I am also launching down this path for the fifth -- and most likely, final -- time, I thought I'd keep a journal of this pregnancy here at 5 Minutes for Parenting. It won't be a recording of my weight and the baby's development. Rather, I hope it will be a reflection on this amazing, weird journey of pregnancy. (Today's entry is actually a few weeks old, but I thought you might like to hear how we discovered I'm with child.)

Please add your voice to the conversation as we travel these next 35 weeks together. There is nothing I love more than a good pregnancy story. I can't wait to hear your experiences.


It’s one of those moments that makes you doubt your senses.

I took a pregnancy test last week, secretly hoping, but not expecting a positive result. My hands shook as I waited for the test liquid (discreet, no?) to spread down the stick. I watched as a solid line showed up (the negative line) and then the test line (so I knew I did it correctly). And then, ever so faintly, so pale I didn’t trust my eyes, I saw a plus sign appear in the result window.

Or at least I thought I did. I looked. I turned it in the light. I looked again. Faint. Oh so faint. Weak, like my breathing at that moment.

I decided to call it a negative and test again in a few days.

And that re-test day was today.

By this point, I had a stronger suspicion. There was nothing definite – no symptoms, other than a missed period. And even that is questionable, given my irregular history.

But I still wondered. Six days after a dim maybe-I-need-glasses test result. Could it really be?

It could.

It is.

I’m pregnant.


I tested first thing in the morning, to take advantage of that morning pee. I was hurrying, lest the kids – who don’t understand the concept of privacy – push through the bathroom store and see Mom putting a lid on something she just took out of the potty. My hands shook – again. But my hands shake every time I take a pregnancy test. There’s so much life-changing potential in that little plastic stick.

The plus signed showed up immediately. Immediately. No doubting, no wondering. It was definite.

Corey was in the shower, unaware that everything was about to change.

I stuck my head behind the shower curtain and held up the positive test.

He squinted.

“I’m pregnant!” I mouthed through the thunder of water.

His eyes got big. He focused more intently on the test.

“Really?” he grinned.

I grinned back.

But we didn’t have long to rejoice. It was only the third day of school for Natalie, and the all-important first day of kindergarten for Connor. I had to get ready for the day, make sure backpacks were packed, clothes were on, lunches were ready. Mom was needed.

I shoved the positive test deep into my bathroom drawer, behind the floss and under the hair shine serum. For now, it’s a secret between me and Corey and the God who sees this little one.

Kelly also blogs at Love Well.


  1. Congratulations on your great news! I wish you a very boring pregnancy.

    I love how the blogosphere enables you to maintain a detailed record of pregnancy or babyhood. Instead of having to sit down with the book and write everything, you can enter it into a blog where it will be permanent and regularly updatable; in addition, your friends and family can partake of it at their leisure. I have a friend with triplets who certainly has no time to maintain baby books but is creating a wonderful record of her team's infancy with a blog.

  2. SOOO HAPPY FOR YOU KELLY! I'm 32 weeks along with probably my last baby and I know how it is going over everything with those thoughts - of this is it and trying to soak it all in. GOD BLESS!!!!

  3. No one else is sharing pregancy stories! I will. I was worried I was pregnant and didn't want to be. My oldest was barely one year old. I put it off for days until finally I took the test. It was positive. I sat on the couch and cried for three hours. Note: this is a clue, since I am usually not the crying type. My husband starting out sympathetic and ended up telling me I was in sin ;)
    I thought I had a miscarriage a few days later so I went in for my first dr's appt. He asked some questions and sent me for an ultrasound--immediately. Note: this is another clue.
    Did you guess? It was twins! They were born when the oldest was 20 months old and it was wild for a time, but I wouldn't change a thing.

  4. How exciting! It was to much fun to read and remember those breathtaking moments when I first learned of my daughters' existences. You took me right back there.

    Congrats! I look forward to hearing more about it.

  5. I'm 14 weeks pregnant with my second. I had an early miscarriage this summer after telling everyone and their brother I was pregnant. That really sucked. Then, I got pregnant the very next month. I didn't know your body could handle that, but apparently it can...
    We just finally started telling people now that we've heard the heartbeat and everything is going well so far! (that was my second miscarriage this year)

  6. Oh wow! I am so glad I found your blog Love Well and clicked the link over to here! Two weeks ago I had a suspicion but the plus sign on the pregnancy test was so faint, I thought I was just imagining things. Last week I went to the doctor and she confirmed it - I'm pregnant! We thought we were done with having kids (I'm 38 and we have a son and a daughter already), so this was a real shocker. I'll be looking forward to reading about your journey!

  7. Kelly, I just love this pregnancy journal idea. And I admit I got a little choked up reading this first entry. The process of bringing a little life into the world is just so amazing and emotion-packed. So I say it's worth a tear or two, and then some. :-)

  8. Wow, congratulations, Kelly! We're very privileged to be among the few who know your news. :-) Nothing like the privacy of the blogosphere, huh? I know that waiting-for-the-pink-line feeling well, that bubbling cauldron of emotions, and you're right, it really is a feeling that unites expectant mothers. Take it easy and hope you sail right through the first trimester!

  9. what a beautiful post....we were travelling to Canada May last year and I was due for my period during the hol and it didn't come. Sice we were actively trying I wondered but only decided on a test a week or so before we got back home and that came positive :) we both grinned but couldnt believe it and waited till I saw my gyni in Malta who confirmed it!

  10. So beautiful. Made me cry. I'm so happy for y'all and already praying this one is the best napper God ever created.

  11. PS Al was in the shower when I told him I was pg with Bean. He jumped out soaking wet and hugged me and shouted, MY BABY'S HAVIN' A BABY!

    It stands to reason, of course, but is always so hilarious to me that these, some of life's most exciting, intimate and romantic (wouldn't you say?) moments, so often happen in THE BATHROOM in close proximity to THE POTTY.

  12. With Joy, I took a pregnancy test only to reassure myself that I wasn't pregnant--and my husband was disgusted with me for wasting money like that. One of my friends went with me to buy it, and came back to the house for supper. I took it right away, while my husband was getting ready to drain the pasta for supper. As I stared at the test, my heart stopped beating and then I hollered (from the bathroom) "How accurate are these things?"

    My husband nearly dropped pasta all over the kitchen floor as my friend shouted back "99%!"

    Dinner was very weird that night, to say the least.

  13. I am a long-time lurker on your blog, but have to share my story.

    I was late finding out. My body was so irregular (could go three months with no sign of anything) that I wasn't overly worried when I did have my cycle one month. I was already gaining weight from not waitressing anymore, so that wasn't really a clue. My sister in law actually made me take a test with her, and both of us showed positive. Our girls, born 29 days apart are the best of friends.

    I can't wait to follow your story, and share some of mine, such a great idea!!

  14. Congrats! My husband and I were together when we found out we were expecting our son. We had been trying for only 2 months and really did not think we were pregnant. The only signs I had was a missed period. Funny: After the positive sign on the test I had morning sickness. I thought my husband was going to pass out because he was so quite. We only told our parents for awhile and announced to them by buying card that said, "There is always a first for everything, how do you feel about being a first time grandparent?"

  15. So, do you still have your test?

    I have some in the back of my bathroom drawer. I can't remember who they heralded, but I can't throw them away for some reason.

    I am excited to read your weekly updates and live vicariously through you.

  16. Congratulations!!! I love that you took multiple tests :) I didn't believe that I was pregnant until the ultrasound confirmed it and I could hear the heartbeat with my ears and see the baby with my eyes, even after the doctor did a second "stick" test and pronounced it so. To be fair though, technically I'm unable to have children and my sister-in-law had just had a very early miscarriage (positive pregnancy test but nothing on the ultrasound). So I think my reaction was less insane than the doc made it out to be...

    Wishing you a completely uneventful pregnancy full of joy.

  17. Oh, Waaahhh!!! This made me cry tears of joy for you - what a great way to describe the experience of a positive pregnancy test!!! :)

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